it's looking rather grim

my mother always told me, if you don’t have anything nice to say, don’t say anything at all.

well, i haven’t spoken to that bitch in months.

a motherfucking stink bug just sprayed on my cat’s favorite blanket so as revenge i doused it in perfume

HOW DO U LIKE IT

HAVE FUN SUFFOCATING IN NICKI MINAJ’S PINK FRIDAY U BROWN SHATURDAY

i like how i’ve been neglecting the bar for 8 months and on my first night back i OWNED  everyone in pool

shout out to my liver cause i don’t even know how many shots i took tonight but you always got my back boo

Shubenacadie Sam decided to quote his favorite rapper, “How much wood could a woodchuck chuck if a woodchuck could ever give a FUCK bitch, motherfuck you and your opinion,” before biting his captor and attempting an escape.

That wasn’t very Canadian of him; usually Phil is the punk.

gryffon:

i gather with my friends. we

(via setheverman)